Tribbles and Tribulations
by mamapranayama
Summary: My favorite Star Trek episode reborn the SG1 way. Cute and cuddly creatures wreak havoc on the SGC and it's all Vala's fault. Tiny bit of D/V. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_I just couldn't resist writing a story based on my favorite Star Trek episode crossed a bit with my favorite SciFi show. It might be cheesy, but it should be fun. This first chapter is just a pretty short teaser to see if anyone is actually interested in this kind of story. Let me know it this is a stupid idea or not._

**Tribbles and Tribulations**

"Awww, it's so cute!"

"No, Vala. You can't keep it." She rose from the ground with the tiny, fuzzy ball-like creature in her hand. Daniel recoiled, he'd seen his fair share of seemingly innocuous things that turned out to be dangerous to know better than to trust it's innocence, even if it was cute and fluffy.

"Did I say I wanted to keep it? I merely pointed out that it's adorable. Look at it's fur....It's so soft."

"Don't pet it!" He warned her "You don't know where it's been or what it's carrying, it could have some kind of alien fleas for all we know."

"It doesn't have fleas, Daniel."

"It might bite."

"I don't even see a mouth, how can it bite me?"

"You never know."

"Don't be such a wuss, Daniel. It's a tiny, little, fuzzy....fuzzball thing. How can you be so squeamish around it? It's like a pocket-sized bunny without the big teeth and ears. And listen to that..."Vala put the thing next to his ear. It was purring or something like a purr anyway. He brushed it away, annoyed by her attachment to the puffball.

"Just the same, we're not keeping it."

"I know, I know." She continued to stroke the pocket-sized animal, ignoring Daniel's protestations.

"Vala."

"Just a second, I want to say good-bye." Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Vala."

"Okay, Ok-"

"Jackson! Vala!" Mitchell's voice urgently broke in over the radio. Daniel toggled his radio and spoke into it.

"Yeah, Go ahead."

"Get to the gate now!"

"Wha-" A terrible and high-pitched roar sounded from deep within the forest where Mitchell, Teal'c and Sam had gone exploring. Daniel's eyes went wide when he saw a giant reptilian chasing his friends and bearing down on their location. Turning into the direction of the gate he ran and grabbed Vala, who had also decided that fleeing would be a good idea. Mitchell, Teal'c and Sam closed in on them as they ran. The monstrous creature was gaining on them, continuing it's horrific shriek as it chased it's prey. Mitchell yelled for them to move faster, though they were already at a sprint and none of them needed any more motivation to pick up the pace. Thankfully, they hadn't ventured very far from the Stargate and Daniel was able to reach it first, quickly dialing the DHD and punching in the iris code, the wormhole exploding as it opened up. Wasting no time, everyone darted through the gate, stumbling over one another on the ramp as they crossed over into the gateroom.

"Shut the iris!" Mitchell yelled. The metal shield spun and slid closed, followed by a loud thump on the other side before the wormhole closed. "That was close." Mitchell sighed in relief, bending over to catch his breath.

"Indeed." Teal'c added.

"What the hell was that?" Vala asked.

"I think we accidentally fell into it's nest, it must have been protecting it's young." Sam conjectured breathlessly.

"Well, whatever it was, that was one pissed off lizard." Mitchell looked around at the group. "Everyone okay?" there were nods all around. General Landry appeared at the end of the ramp and Mitchell headed for him.

"Guess we can scratch P4C-947 off of our list of potential vacation spots, General. Looks like Godzilla got there before us."

"I'd love to hear all about it Colonel, but go get your physicals first, then we'll debrief afterward."

"Yes, sir." Mitchell headed for the exit followed by Teal'c and Sam. Daniel made to follow them as well until he noticed that Vala was still standing at the top of the ramp.

"Well, are you going to grace us with your presence in the infirmary as well or not?" Vala waved for him to come up to her. Sighing, he climbed back up the ramp and she leaned in with a culpable face when he neared.

"I'm afraid I may have inadvertently, accidentally and unintentionally taken something from the planet...It was all so sudden you see and it was instinct really...I didn't want the poor thing to get hurt and then there was the huge lizard thingy and we were running......" Daniel's face turned stern and red as it dawned on him what she had done.

"Vala, you didn't..." She made a guilty face and reached into her front jacket pocket, pulling out the tiny, furry creature.

"Oops..."


	2. Chapter 2

_Wow! I'm surprised by the response y'all have given me with this story. I really appreciate the feedback. Hope you enjoy this next installment. More to follow soon! :)_

OOOOO

Daniel glowered at Vala and Sam as the two women cooed and petted the furry animal while they sat on the infirmary bed, however they appeared to be oblivious to his consternation. Much to his chagrin, Vala had somehow charmed the General and Doctor Lam in allowing her to hold onto the animal while they endured their post-mission physicals until their resident xenobiologist could be called in to take it. He just didn't feel comfortable with the thing in Vala's hands, what if it was a threat, hidden inside of a cute package?

"Oh, it's purring....kinda like a cat. It reminds me of Schroedinger... boy I miss him, he was a great pet." Sam recalled her former cat that she had given to Narim wistfully. "What are you going to call it?"

"Call it?" Daniel asked with incredulity. "You can't name it, it should be in quarantine, I can't believe they let you bring it in here."

"Get over it Daniel, Dr. Wyman will be here in a few minutes to take him away, it's not like he's going to attack or anything, I mean, c'mon, look at him..." Vala held the fuzzball aloft. " he's too cute to be dangerous."

"Him? You don't even know if it's a male or a female. Don't you think you're getting a little too attached to _it_?"

"Well, I'm definitely not calling him 'Daniel' now." Vala stuck out her tongue at him and he just shook his head. He was still irritated by the fact that she had been so careless as to bring back a visitor from the planet.

"You know, it should go back to the planet." He added.

"Back to the planet?" Vala gave him a fierce look, much like that of a mother bear guarding her cubs. "With all of those dino-monster-lizards? I don't think so...how could you be so cruel? Besides, I don't think General Landry would want to send us to a dangerous planet just to return one tiny, little animal."

"We could always just send it through the gate on its own."

"Daniel!" Both women shouted at him at once and gave him the deadliest of stares. He was taken aback, unsure of what was so bad about what he suggested.

"What? It was doing just fine on its own before you picked it up. We'd just be sending it back to where it belongs, in its natural environment."

"Give it up, Jackson. You're not going to win this one." Mitchell called from the opposite bed.

"I must concur with ColonelMitchell, DanielJackson. I do not believe you will be able to convince ValaMalDoran to return the creature to the planet. I must also add that the animal has a most pleasing sound to it." Teal'c reached for the animal and petted it with one finger, a slight grin curving up his lips as the animal responded to his touch.

"I think he likes you Muscles. Maybe I should name him 'Teal'c'." Vala giggled as the furry ball wiggled and squealed in her hands.

"I would be honored." Teal'c bowed.

"Oh, C'mon! You too Teal'c?" Daniel threw up his hands in defeat. Mitchell was right, there was no winning this argument. Even Mitchell seemed to be taken by it. After seeing the seasoned Air Force veteran turn to goo as he gushed over the cute and fuzzy thing when they reported Vala's accidental transport of the animal, he doubted that he would recommend sending it back to fend for itself.

From the other end of the infirmary, Dr. Lam walked over to the team with Dr. Wyman by her side. The slender and dark-haired medical doctor stood in stark contrast to the short, rotund and balding xenobiologist. Going directly to the animal in Vala's hands, the older man gave a little gasp of delight.

"Fascinating!" the doctor exclaimed. "May I?" He asked Vala, reaching for the animal. Daniel could see that Vala was reluctant to let it go, but she obliged and handed it over to him. He handled the creature in a way that reminded him of how he treated his artifacts, carefully turning the animal over and examining every inch of it.

"Wow, I can't wait to study it!" He gleefully told the assembled team before pushing his thick glasses back up his nose..

"What kind of study are we talking about here?" Vala asked warily.

"Well, I need to find out what it eats, what gender it is and I'd love to get a peek at its anatomy." Vala gasped angrily and grabbed the animal back from the startled doctor.

"If you even think of dissecting him...." Leveling a steely gaze at the scientist, she growled.

"Vala..." Daniel grabbed her arm

"Oh, I'd never do that, I was just thinking about giving it an MRI." The doctor raised his hands defensively.

"Oh." Vala visibly relaxed and handed the furry creature back to Dr. Wyman. "Sorry."

"Well, that's understandable, I wouldn't want to see him dissected either." He smiled to the raven- haired woman and petted the cuddly fuzzball. "I guess I'll be taking it back to my lab now." He turned to leave and Vala hopped off the bed after him.

"May I join you, please?" She showered him with one of her most charming and irresistible smiles that she had employed on several occasions for Daniel. He had to admit, it was hard to say no to her when she flashed one of those grins. Dr. Wyman, obvious to all that he had never encountered the former con artist's ways before, was eager to accept her and the two left the infirmary together. Daniel shook his head, the world had just gone insane over a palm-sized puff ball.

OOOOO

Several hours of work passed before Daniel realized that he had managed to accomplish a small mountain of translations and paper-work that had been building up for weeks. That was very strange considering the fact that Vala usually invited herself into his office to pester him at least once every couple of hours, making such a task nearly impossible. Deciding that he had earned a coffee break, he put down his work and headed for the commissary.

After grabbing a mug of coffee, he made his way to the xenobiology lab to see if Vala was still preoccupied with the animal she had brought back. Sure enough, he caught her bent over a cage, giving him an ample view of her curvey backside. His view of the animal however was obscured, but he could see her sticking her fingers through the sides, trying to touch it. Dr. Wyman hovered near her, intensely scribbling notes as he watched in fascination. When Daniel came up behind her, his jaw dropped, surprised to see the animal had more than doubled in size since the last time he saw it.

"What the-" he started. Vala jumped, taken by surprise.

"Daniel!"

"Is that the same thing you brought in here a few hours ago?" he asked staring at it.

"Yeah, he's growing like a weed isn't he?"

"I'll say, what are you feeding it?"

"Actually, he's eating everything we put in there, fruit, veggies, meat, it's all good to him."

"That's just incredible growth." Daniel added, he had to admit to being interested by the creature's amazing expansion.

"It sure is." Dr. Wyman chimed in. "I've never seen anything like this before. Its metabolism is the fastest of any animal I've ever encountered before. Also, it's pregnant."

"What?" Vala looked up at the scientist her eyebrows raised in shock.

"I guess that it's not a 'he' after all." Daniel smiled smugly at her.

"Actually, it's a hermaphrodite, the MRI showed both male and female sex organs." the doctor moved over to open the cage and reached in feeling the sides of the animal. "I'd say _it_ should give birth at anytime."

"Oh, how exciting!" Vala clapped happily and spoke into the cage. "You're going to be a mommy, um, er, or daddy... I guess parent would be the operative word here. Darn! I'm going to have to change his name, or its name."

"What were you calling it before?" Daniel asked.

"Cameron."

"What? Why?"

"Because he talked Landry into letting the little guy stay, unlike a certain other friend of mine who shall not be mentioned." Daniel sighed and rolled his eyes, he could tell that she was angry at him for not liking her new found pet. "I figure I'll have to find you a gender-neutral name" She spoke again to the creature."I suppose I'll call you 'Sam', it works for a boy or girl" Again she stuck her fingers into the cage and stroked it's fur. It squeaked and Vala smiled widely.

"Have you been here the whole time, Vala?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I didn't want to leave Sam alone."

"Okay, but you got to eat and it's dinner time, why don't we go get some food." For once Daniel found himself in the position to drag Vala off to a meal instead of the other way around. He tugged on her arm until she finally relented. "C'mon, Sam will still be here when you get back, I think you can trust Dr. Wyman to take good care of it till you get back."

"Fine." She followed him out, but not before looking behind and calling out to the cage "Be good, Sam, I'll be back soon."

After dinner, Vala was determined to go straight to the lab and check on her new friend and to see if it had given birth yet. Daniel had been reluctantly dragged along, but secretly his interest in the little furry guy had been piqued. Upon entering the lab however, they found chaos had ensued during their absence.

Dr. Wyman shouted orders to three SF's as they scrambled to chase several tiny furballs running across the floor. Daniel was amazed, they had to be no bigger than cotton balls, yet they darted across the floor in speeds one would think were impossible for something without legs.

"What happened?" Vala asked over the raised voices to Dr. Wyman. The stout man rushed over to them, a flush in his face and breathing heavily.

"I saw that the animal had given birth, there were so many of them that I needed to put some in another cage. However, when I opened the cage, the babies ran out and I wasn't fast enough to catch them." The frazzled doctor seemed on the edge of a panic attack and Daniel put a hand on the older man's shoulder.

"It's okay, Doctor, just breathe." Daniel took a deep breath in to demonstrate for the scientist and it seemed to work marginally, that is until one of the SF's announced that the babies had managed to squeeze into the ventilation shaft.

"Oh, oh, oh, this...is...it, the end of my career." The doctor put his hands over his face, near tears.

"It's not that bad, we'll find the babies, they couldn't get too far, we'll seal off the vent shaft and bring them back here." Vala tried her best to comfort the stressed doctor, but he just shook his head.

"You don't understand. I tested one of the babies, it was pregnant already! I'm not sure how, but with their metabolism and accelerated growth, in just a few hours there's going ....to be hundreds.... upon hundreds of those things...and it will be..... all my fault." He gasped, beginning to hyperventilate. Daniel shared a look with Vala and she summed up what they were in for with one word.

"Shit!"

.


	3. Chapter 3

_Woo hoo, thanks for all of the feedback guys, I love hearing from y'all! :D_

OOOOO

"Okay, people." General Landry addressed the assembled team plus Dr. Wyman. "The vent shafts have been closed and the base is now on lockdown until we've got all of the critters back where they belong. So, someone please tell me that we're making some progress tracking down these babies." Daniel looked to Vala who looked to Dr. Wyman who turned back to General Landry and cleared his throat nervously and spoke up.

"Well Sir." His voice cracked. "We've managed to catch two of the babies, but ten remain unaccounted for."

"Ten?" Landry asked "You mean that little puff ball had twelve babies?"

"Uh, Yes, Sir. It's not uncommon for small animals with few defenses against predators to have large litters and frequently. However, these animals seem to be an extreme example of this. Most likely due to the extremely hostile nature of the carnivores that SG1 witnessed on the planet, they need to breed quickly and in large numbers just to perpetuate the species."

"Oh great, so what you're saying is that there's going to be a whole mess of fuzzies around here " Mitchell remarked. "Reminds me of my Aunt Sally, she started off with one little kitten, two years and fifteen cats later and she was known as the crazy cat lady. Man, I hated visitng her house, the smell alone...."

"Colonel...." Landry interrupted.

"Right, sorry."

"Unfortunately, Colonel Mitchell is right." The xenobiologist reddened, again on the verge of a meltdown, Vala patted his back reassuringly.

"So, how many are we looking at here?" Landry demanded to know.

"Roughly a thousand babies today alone with that number increasing exponentially with each generation, we could have hundreds of thousands here within a few days if we don't find a solution soon." Sam calculated.

"I really don't like the sound of that Colonel, so we need some solutions." The general looked to his top team, the people that had been through some of the trickiest and dangerous situations ever seen by human beings and who had on countless occasions, saved the planet from total annihilation. He was met with blank stares. "Anybody?" Looks were exchanged all around and many shoulders shrugged.

"Okay. I want every available body on this base trying to track down those babies. Hopefully we can catch them before they decide to turn our base into a maternity ward! Dr. Wyman" Landry pointed to the doctor who startled at hearing his named loudly called upon. "Find out all you can about the creatures, maybe there is some way we can get them to stop breeding. Dismissed everyone." Landry rose and swiftly entered his office, slamming the door behind him, obviously pissed off.

"Uh, yes sir."The doctor replied to the closed door, wiping sweat from his brow. "I'm so getting fired."

"Don't worry, I thought that once too." Daniel offered.

"You thought I was going to get fired too?"

"No, when I first came here, I thought I was going to get fired, but then I figured out how to open the Stargate and it was all good, so don't worry, you'll think of something." Dr. Wyman gulped.

"I sure hope so." The Doctor stated as he stood shakily.

Daniel followed Vala and Dr. Wyman out to the corridor after the meeting while Sam, Teal'c and Cam went off to recruit base personnel for the baby search. Daniel turned to Vala.

"So, do I get to say 'I told you so' now?" He asked her with a smug expression. She growled a curse at him in Goa'uld under her breath that one didn't need to be a linguist to translate and turned away with a flick of her pig tails, following Dr. Wyman back to his lab.

"Now that was just uncalled for." He called out to her retreating backside.

OOOOO

Twenty-four hours later it became clear how dire their situation was. It was no longer necessary for anyone to search for the original ten babies, for their progeny were everywhere. Lining the corridors, hiding in closets, falling out of vent shafts and landing on unsuspecting airmen as they walked down the hallways. They had become too numerous for the crews to keep up with, the walls reverberating with the sounds of the animals trilling and squeaking.

Daniel stepped into the Xenobiology lab, narrowly avoiding a fuzz ball as it crawled across the floor where rows and rows of cages held various sizes and colors of the fluffy animals. In the corner, he found Vala holding Sam, the original furball and Dr. Wyman talking excitedly. Sam had now grown to be the size of a football and Vala petted it absently while conversing with the scientist.

"Daniel! C'mere. Dr. Wyman and I have something to show you." Vala called him over with a wide smile, beckoning with her hands. He came near and noticed the cage they were looking into, it had just one animal in it.

"What's going on?" He asked genuinely curious.

"We've been experimenting with different types of food to see if that might have an effect on their breeding rates. " Dr. Wyman gestured to the cage. "Well, look here, this animal has been in this cage by itself for more than six hours, it's still not pregnant."

"Hey that's great, what did you do?"

"Nothing actually."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing, Daniel."

"We just didn't feed this one. I have a theory that when these creatures come into a food source it triggers their metabolism to speed up to astonishing rates, accelerating growth and beginning the breeding cycle. As long as they have access to food, they reproduce."

"So all we have to is stop feeding them?" Daniel was hopeful that this was the solution to their problems.

"I think so."

"Great, Let's go tell Landry." Daniel started for the door, but stopped when he noticed no one was following. "Well?" Vala glanced up finally, she had been too preoccupied with Sam to notice Daniel had already made it to the door and guiltily made her way over to join him while Dr. Wyman looked on, wringing his fingers in agitation.

"Actually, I wasn't quite finished running the experime-" Daniel grabbed the scientist by the arm, leading him to the door. "I think the general won't mind if you report this to him a little early."

OOOOO

General Landry sat in his office, the red telephone receiver in his right hand as he talked to the president, his left hand pushing a fuzzy animal off of a stack of papers as it attempted to transverse the length of his desk.

"Yes, sir. We've been exploring all of our options.....Yes, I understand....." Landry listened as the president talked. When he caught sight of Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran and Dr. Wyman coming to his door, he waved them in and gestured for them to sit.

"Are you certain about this sir?........We may be able to come up with a solution if you just give us some time........Yes, Sir, Mr. President. I understand. Thank-You.... Goodbye." Landry looked at the receiver for a moment before hanging up the phone. Turning his attention to the three, he leveled his gaze on them. "I've just been informed by the President that we have two days to come up with a solution to our critter problem before it becomes necessary to evacuate all personnel and flood the entire base with cyanide gas in order to exterminate all of the animals."

Vala gasped, still holding onto Sam, she hugged the creature a little tighter. "You can't do that General, that's just heartless."

"It's out of my hands. Unless of course, you have a solution to our problem."

"Actually, sir. We may have." Dr. Wyman answered as he wrung his hands. "We need to stop feeding the creatures, it appears that food triggers their breeding. That means removing all foodstuffs from the entire base, every single crumb."

"Good, that might take care of that problem, but what do we do after that?"

"What do you mean 'after that', sir?"

"I mean what do we do with all of these?" The General picked up a fuzzie that had climbed onto his shoe and held it up to the scientist."Surely, you don't expect us to just let these guys run loose on the base?"

"Well, actually, we haven't quite gotten that far, but cutting off their food supply should at the very least, put a halt to their reproduction abilities."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Dr. Jackson, Ms. Mal Doran, get the word out that any and all food supplies, right down to anyone's brown-bag lunches, need to be brought to the gateroom where we can seal it off from the rest of the base. Double check all of the food and make sure that none of the animals are hiding in the containers. As for you doctor," The General turned his attention to Dr. Wyman, who had suddenly burst into a cold sweat. " good work. Dismissed, people." The trio rose and exited Landry's office. The doctor blew out the breath he had been holding and was still breathing heavily from nervousness, but seemed relieved to be out of the General's presence as he left for his lab.

"Alright, Daniel. Let's go get us some grubby." Vala suggested with a grin as they made their way down the corridor. He frowned at her.

"Grubby? I think you mean grub."

"Whatever. this should be fun."

"If your definition of fun involves being hit over the head several times with an anvil, then sure, I could see how this could be fun." He replied sarcastically. Daniel wasn't in much of a mood for playing with Vala at the moment, for while the constant chirping and trilling of the furballs had been somewhat pleasant at first, the noise was beginning the give him a migraine. Vala, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying herself immensely, picking up random puffy animals, cooing and petting on them, often times introducing them to Sam as its long-lost great-grandchild or some other such nonsense that Daniel didn't appreciate. He had to admit that he didn't want the cute and cuddly creatures to all be destroyed by the poison gas, but at the same time they couldn't continue on like this for long, or they'd be knee deep in the little fellows by week's end, the thought alone made him shudder.

.


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay, I'm going to have to admit to a little scene stealing here from the original Star Trek, but mostly because it's my favorite part of the episode. Anyway, I couldn't wait to share it, so this will be my second post today (I know, I need a life, right?) It might be short, but I hope you like it. More to come soon. :)_

OOOOO

"There's just a little more left in the kitchen." Tech Sgt. Masterson, the head cook explained to Daniel, who had come to help clear the commissary of food. All base personnel had been tasked with removing any traces of food on base so it could be sealed up in the gateroom. With the exception of the frozen, perishable food locked in airtight freezers, all of the food was being swiftly moved thanks to the combined efforts of everyone and Daniel would be no exception. He spent the greater part of the afternoon hauling boxes of food or going from room to room to ensure that nary a crumb was left behind, all of the while trying not to trip over the ever increasing population of furballs that had invaded the facility

"All that's really left is the dry food storage room." The Tech Sgt. pointed to a locked steel door at the end of the kitchen.

"Okay, I'll go get started in there then." Daniel went to the door and swiped his card. Nothing happened. He tried again, but was once again unsuccessful. He figured that only a cook's card might work on the locked door. He called Masterson over, but to both the Sergeant's and Daniel's consternation, the door refused to open. Realizing he would need someone with expertise to fix the door mechanism, he paged Sgt. Siler to have a look at it. Twenty minutes later a harried looking Siler walked up to Daniel.

"What's wrong Sergeant?" Daniel asked upon seeing the frowning expression on the head engineer's face.

"The animals got into the electrical systems, it's been a struggle just to keep the lights on, not to mention the havoc their causing in the vents and plumbing."

"Plumbing?"

"You don't want to know, Dr. Jackson." Daniel gave the stressed man a sympathetic look.

"We need to get into this storeroom and clear the food out, but the locking mechanism on the door isn't working." Siler nodded and took a look at the lock.

"Hmmm..." he muttered to himself after trying his card unsuccessfully, noting that the light above the card reader appeared to be off. He pocketed his card and eyed the door lock again before he took a hand and slammed it against the card reader. The light above the reader turned green, indicating that it was working yet again.

"Well, what do you know, it was probably just a loose wire."

"Thanks." Daniel said gratefully to Siler as he turned and left. "Why didn't I think of that?" he said to himself. Turning his attention back to the door, he was poised to slide his card through the slot when a voice called out from behind him.

"Need some help in there?" Vala asked, approaching him with a slight sashay in her hips.

"Sure, why not? Where did 'Sam' go?"

"Oh, I left him with Dr. Wyman, I felt that I might be needed here more than in his lab."

"He kicked you out didn't he?"

"Pretty much." She admitted. Daniel grinned and shook his head. Once again he placed his card into the reader and slid it down, hoping that the door would open this time. Hearing the door unlock he smiled.

"Ha! Finally." He turned the door knob and all he saw was fur. Unprepared for the avalanche of alien puff balls coming his way, he gave a yelp, but was taken over by their cascading bodies. He fell backward and landed hard on his behind, furballs landing on him and covering him from head to foot.. Through the haze of fuzz and squeaking animals he heard Vala's laughter, but not only hers, but those of the cooks and other assorted personnel that had been helping to clear the kitchen.

Taking one of the creatures off his face he glared at Vala and she stopped laughing, but he could see the struggle on her face to contain her mirth.

"Not funny!" He told her.

"No, of course not." She stifled he laugh, but was betrayed by an involuntary snort. Daniel tried to sit up, pushing fur off of him as he rose. Looking into the storeroom, he cursed loudly. The creatures had piled into the storeroom, gorging themselves on the giant bags of flour, sugar, pasta and other dry foodstuffs, all the while multiplying without any restraint.

"Wow, they must have gotten through that vent up there." Vala pointed to the vent near the ceiling. She picked up a few of the cuddly creatures and began to stroke them until suddenly she stopped and gasped.

"What's wrong?" he asked, finally managing to get to his feet.

"I think some of these are dead."

"What?" Daniel asked and picked up a few, noticing how quiet such a large number of furballs seemed to be. Indeed, many appeared to be dead. Thus far, these had been the only aliens they had found that had died of anything beyond accidents. "You're right, half of these are dead."

"What do you think could have killed them?" Vala asked

"I don't know." Daniel stated, peering into the storeroom, a dark thought entered his brain and alerted him to danger. "Maybe it was something they ate."


	5. Chapter 5

_Hope you all are enjoying the story thus far, it's turning out to be a really fun story to write, so I'll be updating really soon again. :)_

OOOOO

Daniel worried when Vala failed to show up when SG1 had been called to the conference room. The discovery of the dead and dying furballs in the food storage room prompted an investigation into all of the food on base. Every ounce was tested and Daniel watched in expectation as Dr. Lam entered the conference room with the results. She sat swiftly in a chair next to Sam and opened the file she was carrying.

"What have you got for us Carolyn?" Landry asked.

"It's not good." She leveled her gaze onto the General. "We found Ricin in the flour from the storage room, fortunately, all of the other food on base is clear. I think we're extremely fortunate that our furry friends discovered it before we did, otherwise we'd have a whole lot of dead and sickened people here"

"Ricin?" Landry questioned

"Yes, it doesn't appear to be weaponized, but a crude form, most likely purchased on the black market. I hate to say it, but the only way someone could have contaminated the food, would be from the inside. We must have a saboteur somewhere on base. The bags of flour that were contaminated were brought in just a couple of days ago, so whoever did this may still be on base due to the lockdown"

Landry nodded gravely. Everyone in the room sat in silence for a few moments while they digested the news. No one liked hearing that someone on base, someone with enough security clearance to get inside, may be responsible for the thwarted attack.

"Okay, everyone. We've got to find whoever did this, before they think if some other way to strike at us. Colonel Mitchell, I'm putting SG1 on the task, interview anyone who may have had access to the food without arousing suspicion."

"Yes, sir."

"Alright, dismissed." The team filed out of the room to begin their search for the responsible party. Disappointed that Vala still failed to show, Daniel made his way to the one place he was certain she must have been.

OOOOO

Daniel found Vala again in Dr. Wyman's lab, holding Sam and talking softly to it. An exhausted Dr. Wyman sat on a stool with his head on his desk, fast asleep, failing to notice the growing mound of furballs crawling over his back and shoulders.

"Vala." Daniel called out to her, beckoning her over to him. With Sam in hand she carefully walked over to him, sidestepping the fuzzy aliens loitering on the floor. "Where were you?"

"I'm sorry, I just had to make sure that Sam was okay, after all, we fed it just about everything we could get our hands on."

"Well, it looks fine to me."

"Yes, thankfully so."

"We think that someone on base may have poisoned the flour. SG1 has been tasked to flush them out, so we need to get moving."

"Okay, what do we need to do?"

"Let's go back to the kitchen, see if we can talk to anyone there that might have seen anything suspicious."

"Ooh, this will be fun, like those detective shows on television, like Law and Order or CSI where everyone is so smart and sexy. You can be the smart one and I'll be the sexy one....."

"Vala...."

" Or we could do the good cop, bad cop thing....."

"Let's just go." Daniel took her by the arm and led her down the corridor towards the commissary.

OOOOO

Ash dodged another one of those damned furry animals that lined the path down the corridor. Everything that he had so perfectly planned had been shot all to hell since these horrible pests invaded.

He had managed to avoid being detected for this long, but he hadn't planned on being stuck on base this long. He had almost made it too, before suddenly finding himself trapped deep inside the mountain with the despicable creatures. The tiny furballs offended his every sense. They smelled bad, made awful squeaking noises whenever he came near one and their fur made his nose itch and he sneezed uncontrollably whenever they where around, which was all of the time now.

All he wanted to do is just get off this miserable planet. He had been trapped here for thousands of years, abandoned by his former Lord, Seth. So for all that time, he hopped from body to body, traveling from one end of the planet to the other, hoping that one day the Goa'uld would return and wipe out these insignificant Tau'ri, then he could rebuild his power and perhaps become a System Lord himself oneday.

It was hard to believe that just a few weeks go he had wandered into Washington D.C. Ash was tired of that host's mental struggle within and had grown sick of his physical appearance anyway. So when he took over the body of what he had thought at first to be a Chinese businessman, he had been greatly surprised to find that the host was actually a member of a top secret organization called the I.O.A. From his host he also learned of the Stargate and it's location in Colorado Springs. Finally, he had a way to escape this dirty rock.

Here he was now in the body of one Airman Neil Anderson, a lowly cook. Ash conceded that he would need to find a host that had more influence on the Stargate program, such as General Landry or perhaps even Colonel Mitchell in order to gain access to the Stargate, but in order to get to such high level officials he would need to sneak in through the body of a lower ranking service member. So in the body of his IOA host, he came for a scheduled visit with other IOA members and had memorized every detail of the base, including where he could gain the easiest entry. Noting how most of the base personnel seemed to ignore the presence of the kitchen staff, he came to the conclusion that one of their numbers would not draw much suspicion.

He had eyed Anderson right away, not only for his boyish good looks but because he had access to all of the base's food stores. His plan had been simple. Poison the food, create enough of a disturbance where he could possess a higher level target, such as the General and then make his way out of the Stargate.

It had all gone perfectly so far. Following Anderson home and taking over body, burying the former host in the backyard and using the Ricin he had purchased with the IOA host's connections, it had seemed almost too easy.

If it just hadn't have been for these miserable animals, he'd be out of here already. He kicked at one of the alien creatures and sent it flying down a hallway devoid of personnel. That sure felt good.

Rounding the corner, he was surprised to run directly into the path of Vala Mal Doran and Daniel Jackson. Immediately the furball in Vala's hand reared up and squealed as though it has encountered a dangerous predator. Ash had learned from his IOA host that the spunky woman before him had been a former host to Quetesh and he had done his best to avoid her presence, knowing that the Naquadah in her blood would alert her to the presence of a symbiote.

The fluffy animal squealed again and Vala looked Ash in the eye. Recognition hit her eyes and he knew that it was now or never.

"Daniel! He's a Goa'uld!" Vala shouted to her companion. Before they could react, he pulled the sidearm that he was grateful to have taken with him and fired, hitting the stunned archaeologist. Instantly Dr. Jackson was on the floor and Ash grabbed the dark-haired woman, pointing the weapon directly to her head, his eyes glowing.

"Take me to the gate now!"

OOOOO


	6. Chapter 6

_....And now for the conclusion......_

OOOOO

Fire burned in Daniel's shoulder, but he was grateful to still be breathing. If the Goa'uld's shot had been any better, he wouldn't have much of a head left. He had to get up, Vala had been taken and he needed to warn everyone.

He came to his knees and groaned when pain and nauseousness assaulted him. Grabbing onto the wall for support, he pulled himself up until he was standing, albeit shakily. He placed one foot in front of the other while holding onto his arm in order to steady his wounded shoulder. Dr. Wyman's lab was around the corner, he just had to make it that far, then he could pass out, he promised himself. .

Dr. Wyman must have been awakened by the gun shot, for he was running up to the injured archaeologist, with a shell shocked expression.

"Dr. Jackson! What happened?" He wrapped an arm around Daniel's waist and helped him back into the lab. Brushing several puff balls off a chair, he settled him into it.

"Call.. the General. Goa'uld....he's got Vala....They're going to the gate." Daniel managed to ground out against the pain with clenched teeth. Dr. Wyman was still in shock at seeing the amount of blood beginning to spread out on Daniel's shirt and the scientist was frozen with panic.

"Now, Dr. Wyman!" Daniel shouted, but the effort only won him a wave of dizziness. Thankfully, Dr. Wyman snapped out of it and ran to the phone, calling the General and alerting the base to the Goau'ld's presence. Before passing out, Daniel noted with gratitude that he didn't have to remind the doctor to call for medical help as well.

OOOOO

"Keep moving!" Ash ordered a clearly pissed off Vala as they neared the gateroom. It had been a perilous journey just to get this far. Between the woman's constant protests and the animal in her hands squealing, he was just about ready to shoot both of them. In addition to that, the other thousands of furballs they encountered also screeched as they passed by, making a horrible racket and pushing Ash to the edge.

"You know, if you've killed Daniel, I'm just going to have to snap your neck. And I can do it you know, I'm much stronger than I look."

"Shut up." He growled at her.

"Why should I? You know there's no possible way any one is going to let you go through the gate, so you might as well just give up now before somebody shoots you."

"I said be quiet!"

"If you wanted a quiet hostage, you should have taken somebody else." She flicked her pigtails at him, hitting them in his face. His finger itched over the trigger, but he couldn't kill her now, he needed her in order to escape.

Just as he expected, they rounded the corner of hall that led to the Stargate and was stopped in his tracks by a contingent of SF's and one extremely large and angry Jaffa. His host recognized him as Teal'c, a despicable Shol'va. Their weapons trained on him as he came to a stop and he pulled Vala next to him, aiming his gun at her temple.

"Drop your weapons, or I will shoot her!" He demanded.

"It would be wise if it were you who were the one to lower your weapon." Teal'c responded, leveling his staff weapon on him. Anger flared through Ash, his eyes flashing, he had never been spoken to before by a Jaffa in such a manner.

"You should be on your knees, Jaffa. I am a God! How dare you order me!" With that, the muscular man's dark features hardened and Ash began to feel fear; this was no ordinary Jaffa he realized as Teal'c primed his weapon. At the same moment, the furry creatures began to scream and squeak all around him, darting across the floor in a panic and creating a hysteria the likes of which he had never seen before.

Unfortunately for Ash, he had managed to find a host who's immune system was sensitive to various forms of pet and small animal dander. Even with his ability to heal the host, he was unable to counter the effects that thousands of little furballs were having on the host's levels of histamine. Without warning, he involuntarily let off a sneeze, reflexively squeezing his eyes shut in the process. Taking advantage of his distraction, Vala pocketed Sam and kicked his legs out from under him, sending him to the floor where the furry animals scurried about and squealed obnoxiously into his ears. She jumped onto his torso before sending a fist flying into his face.

"That's for shooting my Daniel!" she yelled. Dark spots flashed before his eyes and she hit him again. "And that's for scaring my Sam!" His world was going dark and as he lost consciousness, he heard her speak vehemently.

"You sonuvabitch! I can't wait till the Tok'ra get a hold of you. I'm going to enjoy watching you get sucked out of this guy's head. "

OOOOO

Waking up in the infirmary had become second nature to Daniel over the years, so he wasn't too surprised to see the IV's and monitors he was attached to as he regained consciousness. Feeling pretty relaxed from the pain killers he assumed he was on, he smiled brightly at Vala who was sitting next to him, until his fuzzy brain realized that it wasn't her at all, but Colonel Mitchell instead. Now that was a surprise. Dropping his smile and schooling his features, he addressed his team leader.

"Hey." He croaked, swallowing in hard in order to wet his dry throat. Mitchell looked up from the book he was reading.

"Hey yourself." He replied. He handed Daniel a cup of water with a straw, which he thankfully gulped down. Taking a look around, he noticed it was quiet. Too quiet, he realized. He tried to sit up, but his shoulder flared and reminded him of how he ended up in here yet again.

"Whoa, now. No need to pop a stitch, just lay back now."

"Where's Vala? She okay?"

"Oh, she's fine, she can really kick some major Goa'uld ass, though."

"You got him?"

"Actually, Vala got him."

"Who was he anyway?"

"He says his name is Ash."

"Ah, yes. God of the desert, servant to Seth. Also known as As."

"Ass?"

"No, As."

"As?"

"Yes."

"I bet he got teased a lot in school with a name like that, no wonder he goes by Ash."

"So, Vala stopped him?"

"Yeah, knocked him right off his block. We sent him to the Tok'ra for extraction."

"Sweet."

"Yeah, I thought so too. I just hope the poor Airman he took over won't be too traumatized by all this though."

"Yeah, me too. So, where is Vala now?"

"Saying good-bye."

"Good-bye to whom?"

"Sam."

"Sam? Where's she going?"

"Not our Sam. Sam the furball. Our Sam and Vala convinced the President to put the Kibosh on the poison gas and find them a home on an uninhabited planet somewhere out there where they can frollick and run free for the rest of their furry lives."

"Ah, so that's why it's so quiet in here."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss them."

"Are you serious?"

"Sure, Not only were they cute, but they made one helluva good Goa'uld detector and they saved most of the SGC from being poisoned to death."

"I guess they did have their moments."

"They sure did. Well," Cam got up from his chair and stood. "Good to see you survive yet another brush with death, but I should be going, we have a lot of little fuzzy guys to clear out and send on their way, so I'll see ya later."

"Sure, later." Daniel watched Cam as he left the infirmary. Just as he was leaving, he gave a high five to Vala as she strolled in. She flashed Daniel a wide smile as she approached.

"Scootch over" she ordered him as she tried to sit next to him on the bed. He gave her a glare, but was too tired to fight her, so he obliged and managed to move over and allow her on without hurting his shoulder again in the process. Besides, he really didn't mind her being next to him.

"Sorry about Sam having to leave." He told her sincerely. She sighed and rested her head on his uninjured shoulder.

"Yeah, I would have loved to keep it, but General Landry wasn't too keen on allowing any of them to stay."

"Can you blame him?"

"I suppose not, but it'll be okay." He turned to look at her and she grinned cheekily at him. "I may not have a pet, but at least I got you." She returned her head to his shoulder and despite himself, or maybe because of all of the painkillers, he smiled too. Closing his eyes, he drifted off to sleep, enjoying the peace and quiet that had returned to his world, at least for now.

The End

_This is it. If you've hung in this far, I thank you. Also big thanks to everyone who's reviewed, you've truly helped motivate me to write this thing. _

_Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it! Happy Halloween :)_


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